The Wizard of Hope

The Setting

The story begins in Kansas, though it could be most any place in the Heartland of America where people still hold dear our constitutional principles and traditional values. Dorothy was feeling a bit restless and began to wonder about life outside of Kansas, beyond the safety and comfort of her home with Uncle Henry and Auntie Em. She daydreamed about what was “over the rainbow.”

Act I: Tornado

All of a sudden, the sky darkened and a storm started brewing. Auntie Em and Uncle Henry sought shelter in the safety of the basement they planned for just such emergencies. They yelled for Dorothy but she lost track of her dog, Toto, and ran off to find him. Dorothy was unable to get back to the shelter and couldn’t avoid being swept up in a tornado. Home, happiness and all that was dear to her was instantly a memory as Dorothy got her wish of being taken over the rainbow.

She passed out on the tumultuous journey and awakened with her house landing in the Land of Hope, smack on top of the Wicked Witch of the East. The only reminders of the Witch’s former presence were the Ruby Slippers still affixed to her useless feet. The slippers were intended to represent independence but in the hands – well, on the feet – of the Wicked Witch of the East, they assumed an image of abuse and excess power. The house that ended her life of wickedness and corruption was appropriately the “People’s House” – and it came crashing down upon her.

Act II: The Quest – Off To See The Wizard

The Wicked Witch of the West appeared and was angry over the death of her sister and threatened to get even with Dorothy. Fortunately, Glinda, the Good Witch of the North, came to Dorothy’s aid. Glinda ruled over the Land of the Munchkids, which was located within the Land of Hope. The Munchkids were the main residents of Hope, but they kept mostly to themselves, doing their work, raising their families, and enjoying happiness and freedom. After an initial apprehension of Dorothy’s landing in their midst, they took a liking to her and joined Glinda in making her feel welcome.

Despite feeling welcome, Dorothy was scared and just wanted to return home. Glinda advised her to seek out the Wizard of Hope, who lived in it the City of Green and might help her in her quest. (He was known to make such claims, though no one had actually seen him succeed.) With a wave of Glinda’s magic wand, the Ruby Slippers found their way on to Dorothy’s feet. They would guide her on her journey to see the Wizard. Glinda disappeared and Dorothy was on her own. She gathered herself up and began her trek. Feeling newly empowered and undaunted, she was off to see the Wizard. The path to the City of Green was the Yellow Brick Road. (It symbolized the golden nature of free flowing entitlements that abounded in the Land of Hope.)

Dorothy skipped down the Yellow Brick Road and along the way stopped to rest. She was startled by the voice of a scarecrow. The Scarecrow lamented to Dorothy that his condition as a windbag stuffed with straw left him without a functioning brain. “Well, I’m off to see the Wizard of Hope and I’m told he can do anything. Perhaps he can give you a brain.” And the Scarecrow joined Dorothy down the path to see the Wizard.

The two travelers had not gone far when they noticed a tin woodsman standing in a forest. It seems he had been there since 1994, with no one paying any attention to him. He had been so inactive, he had rusted into a frozen state. Dorothy and the Scarecrow provided some much needed lubrication and he began to move and talk. Alas, it was the same speech he had given 16 years ago – it seems he could move, but his views couldn’t. Dorothy told him of their journey to the City of Green and asked if he wanted to join them. The Tin Woodsman explained that he had no heart, and the three of them agreed that the Wizard could probably get him one. I mean, after all, the guy almost walked on water! And off they went to see the Wizard.

The trio moved back down the Yellow Brick Road when they came upon a Lion. At first, they were scared as the Lion roared. He seemed to be totally in command. He had, in fact, been elected Speaker of the Forest. Then he began to weep uncontrollably. He was all roar it turned out – he lacked the courage of his convictions. And he tended to blubber. “Well, come along with us to see the Wizard of Hope. He can do anything I’m told. I’m sure he can find you some courage,” Dorothy said with a smile. And off they went to see the Wizard.

Act III: Independence Under Attack

The Wicked Witch of the West, together with her toadies, the Winged Monkeys, made good on her threat by seducing Dorothy and her friends to sleep in a field of poppies. Glinda came to their rescue once again by exposing them to a gentle by snowfall. Saved by the Belle!

Unfortunately, the Wicked Witch had captured Toto in the sleep fiasco and was holding him hostage. Dorothy and her friends had to detour their trip to the Wizard to save the little guy. Life was meaningless without Toto. The group boldly went to the Wicked Witch’s castle (paid for by taxpayers under duress), ignoring the Boeing 757 parked in the driveway. (And you thought she traveled by broom!) It was a harrowing experience dealing with the treacherous Winged Monkeys, but Dorothy and her friends got Toto and made their way back to the Yellow Brick Road.

Act IV: Political Payoff

Dorothy, Toto and her friends arrived at the City of Green and knocked on the door to the Wizard’s imposing house. To their dismay, they were insulted by the arrogant Wizard who read a prepared speech off a teleprompter and refused to meet with them. He relented when he realized that they could do something for him – a political payoff! He told them they would have to kill the Wicked Witch of the West (a hindrance to his own quest for power) and bring him her broom as proof.

Undaunted, they returned to the Witch’s dark castle. The Witch was expecting them however, and sent her Winged Monkeys to attack. In the ensuing battle, Dorothy was separated from Toto and her friends, and was captured and brought to atone to the Wicked Witch. The Wicked Witch wanted the Ruby Slippers, but could only get them if Dorothy was dead.

Fortunately, Toto led the hapless friends to rescue Dorothy. Unfortunately, the rescue attempt was botched and they too were caught. The Wicked Witch tried to subdue Toto but he was squirming too much and jumped from her grasp into Dorothy’s protective arms. In the scramble, the Scarecrow unwittingly caught fire (no doubt the work of Global Warming) but Dorothy doused him with water and put the fire out. Alas, the water also landed on the Wicked Witch and caused her to melt; a fitting death (if you paid attention to the Cast of Characters). The Winged Monkeys realized they were held against their will by the Wicked Witch and happily gave the broomstick to Dorothy to deliver to the Wizard.

Act V: The Audacity of Smoke and Mirrors

The Wizard reluctantly received the travelers this time, and realized he was in a quandary when Dorothy produced the Wicked Witch’s broomstick. He quickly ducked behind the curtain that shielded him from public scrutiny and where he worked his wizardry. He informed the group that they were teetering on the brink of disasters inherited from his predecessor – but that they could be saved by him. After all, what are wizards for?

He promised transformative change. He gave the Scarecrow a brain, represented by a diploma in real science – something the Scarecrow had never seen - and encouraged him to go into seclusion for a while and contemplate the whole Global Warming thing. “Al,” the Wizard cautioned, “It’s just not happening, man!”

As for the Tin Woodsman’s heart, The Wizard had this to say. “Woodsman, you have always had a heart. It’s just the Mainstream Media that have created the perception that you don’t. The solution is simple: stop reading the New York Times and focus on the Munchkid News. While you’re at it, get some new ideas.”

To the Cowardly Lion, the Wizard said, “Courage is not something you have; it’s something you do.” The Wizard knew about courage, though he had none himself. He never served in the military and made a career out of blaming others, lacking the courage to take personal responsibility. “Do as I say, my friend… not as I do. And courage will manifest itself. Now please stop crying!”

Well, it didn’t really take the magic of the Wizard to fix the three broken comrades – just a belief in themselves. This became apparent when Toto pulled back the curtain revealing that the Wizard was really a fraud. There was nothing there but smoke and mirrors – and Teleprompters.

Epilogue: Going Home

The Wizard offered Dorothy a ride home in his hot air balloon (having an abundance of hot air available to him in the City of Green). In accepting the free ride, however, Dorothy almost lost Toto as he jumped out of the balloon’s basket. Dorothy jumped out as well, and the balloon took off without her (ending up in Kenya, where the Wizard was amazingly greeted with a hometown welcome).

Dorothy regained her hold of Toto, and Glinda appeared one last time. Glinda told Dorothy that she had always had the power to return home – the power was within her and simply symbolized by the Ruby Slippers. Then, with three clicks of her heels, Dorothy and Toto were back home in the safety and security of Kansas. She never again wondered about what was over the rainbow! She knew that all that was truly important was right there in Kansas all along.

The End